Faizaan Bhat & Saalim Bhat
After the 2014 devastating floods ended in Kashmir, women, as the old wives’ tale goes, were almost squarely blamed for it. Bizarre enough to believe, reasons given by society for the unfolding of the doom were women’s choice of clothes suggesting the growing inculcation of Western culture including dating, and celebrating birthday parties. Though men were and continue to be involved in maintaining such lifestyles, they never have to suffer their share of the blame. The question remains why is the sole culpability thrusted upon women? This question provokes one to think earnestly about our collective bias against women, in its most apparent form as our experience of the 2014 deluge suggests. Let alone science, this sociological aspect of my place Kashmir triggered my mind. I ended up uploading a post on my social media account ridiculing the absurd reason and was immediately labeled as a “feminist” by most people. Though I proudly accept being called a feminist, the labeling in my comment section was not meant as a compliment, rather it had a pejorative connotation and was (ab)used to characterize me as a humble individual. Some comments posited that I have become a feminist because of my exposure to Western philosophy and literature though many of the Western philosophers and writers have been misogynists and I hardly had read any at that time. My post simply was an intuitive judgment that women deserve dignity and respect like any other ordinary human being.
In our part of the world, feminism is not understood as an integral part of our culture, but as something foreign which perhaps has the power to undermine our public ethos. In our day-to-day lives starting from family to higher public institutions, men are at the places of power and prestige. While basic human work from domestic chores like cooking, washing clothes, and cleaning are performed by women even though there is no substantial logic explaining the gendered division of labor. It is there for centuries because men have been dominant in every power structure and women believed to be ‘subhuman’ since then.
Men and women differ physiologically but are equal and deserve respect and dignity in every aspect of life. Women constitute 52% of the world’s population yet men hold prominent power positions. As Kenyan Nobel laureate Wangari Maathai writes, “The higher you go, the fewer women there are”. While often such claims of superiority either rest on physical strength or stretch to intellectual abilities. Even sacred texts are interpreted to justify patriarchy as interpretations are performed mostly by men.
In our community, young women are trained to believe their worth is defined by male approval and their primary goal is to secure a marriage match by a certain age, with independence being a foreign concept. Boys enjoy the freedom to stay out late, while girls face curfews and scrutiny, their every move judged. In cases of rape, the victim is blamed for her attire or presence, while the perpetrators evade accountability. A woman’s success is often seen as a threat to man and those who remain unmarried are viewed with pity, suspicion, and perversion. The stigma around a woman’s loss of virginity is disproportionately harsh, ignoring the shared nature of such experiences. Girls are taught to cover up and restrict their behavior as if their bodies are the root cause of societal problems rather than the outdated norms that dictate their lives.
This prompts one to wonder how women in Kashmir derive their agency to navigate their daily lives. While women within the larger structure driven by patriarchy, struggle to find a substantial public space, the picture cannot be painted in all despair. There is a significant streak of femininity that runs parallel to male dominance, often challenging it, within the normative cultural tradition of Kashmir. Women in times of distress have asserted their agency by coming together in the forms of groups and associations, negotiating the larger cultural milieu. Association of the Parents of Disappeared Persons (APDP) led by Parveena Ahanger and a more recent example of a women’s collective Zanaan Wanaan often tap into traditional Wanwun (call and response singing) to voice their grievances, build solidarity, and express resistance against the socio-political injustices they face. Also, a richer and more gender-neutral understanding and praxis of Islam has renewed the religious life of women in Kashmir. Dargah situated in the Hazratbal area of Srinagar, and several other shrines provide venues for practicing religion not so significantly marked by gender. One can witness women sharing or even reclaiming the space for prayer from men.
While the above description could seem to be clichéd or (not so) much talked about, this article highlights a caveat that breaths the bias against women with a new life. It is the fragility of masculine culture, which, ironically, characterizes women as sinfe-naazuk (a fragile existence). Hiding behind the machoism of today’s Kashmiri man is his delicate ego, which desperately needs protection and often an entire culture is employed to guarantee the preservation of his sense of superiority, at the expense of authentic progress and equality. Let us ask ourselves why are we triggered when a women makes a mistake while driving a car or when she smokes publicly. Why are men so eager to save the supposed damsel in distress by displaying their patronizing (more accurately mansplaining) skills. The male ego is the plinth of the patriarchal structure, so whenever it’s threatened frustration, hysteria, and desperateness become the concomitant.
Until we put women in positions of power and prestige, until we stop dismissing women’s empowerment as a Western conspiracy to belittle our ‘fragile’ culture and recognize it as an integral part of our own way of life—because remember, culture is shaped by people, not the other way around—nothing will change. People often argue against using the term “feminism,” preferring “human rights” instead, but by avoiding the term feminism they ignore the fact that specific gender-based issues are at play. It’s not just a blanket human rights issue; it’s about addressing the unique struggles women face in our society.